I think I was doing my paeds posting during the first month of the year. I had fever few days before my End of Posting (EOP) Examination. It was quite a high fever. My roommate was so sweet that she bought 'cool fever' but it was for children. Hahahaha so sweet, right? I was really grateful. I remember I went to clinic at evening to just got scolded by the nurse because my temperature was spiking (39℃) It was really high that I had to take paracetamol (PCM) prior seeing the doctor.
Entering the next posting which was Public Health where I was pointed as the group leader. I remember telling Faris how nervous I was to lead a group even it was only a few people. Still, I enjoyed my Public Health posting so much though it was literally packed with classes from 8am-5pm, then we'd continue with group discussion to do our groupwork every night. It was also at the same time where Faris flew back to Malaysia. The best part of my day was getting text that said "i'm here" and seeing him face-to-face. We are in our 4th year together now but i would still get the butterflies and excited every time we see each other. We mostly went to our happy place and had a meal and then just strolling around or driving around.
Want to do this again
My achievement this year that I'm very proud of : donated blood for the first time!
Finishing my Public Health posting to the next posting which was O&G posting. Let me pause for a while.
It was one of the toughest posting ever. It was difficult from the beginning and I was struggling few weeks into the posting. I thought I was not really giving my best to learn as much as I wanted to. The only thing I was proud of that I got the chance to enter the operation theatre to observe C-sec procedure during the second week of posting. Other than that, my case presentation was messed up, my clinical skills were not up to par. I was losing confidence in what I was doing. I felt tired every single days and was picking up myself just to survive another day. Really it was one of the toughest posting! I really wanted to do my best in it though. Cause i always have this dream of pursuing O&G if i ever get the cahnce one day, insyaAllah. But lemme tell you ya, after the posting ended, i think i have to re-think and decide.
In March, I went to Teluk Intan for short posting of O&G. It was literally a short one - literally one week.
I went there with the motivation of learning as much as I could. It was really packed. But I enjoyed the short period I had there. I had so much support from my surrounding, the environment there was really uplifting. Though we were scolded a lot like A LOT but I really thought that it was part of learning and I wasn't affected at all. But that didn't last long. It was that moment when the COVID-19 cases were spiking each days that MCO was imposed. As I just got back from Teluk Intan Hospital, I took extra precaution of quarantine myself for few weeks.
It was my first time seeing this Menara Condong in real life.
The food in Teluk Intan
These people; May Allah bless all of you
Teluk Intan is one of the best thing
A day before MCO. Literally there was no soul at the college during this time.
Just few days before Ramadhan, I lost my beloved grandparent (my tok). Definitely this was the hardest moment for me and also my family. The moment I heard the news, I was in denial like I might misheard it somehow. I wanted to read Yassin to my tok that maghrib but my tears wont stop falling down my cheeks. The next day, Allah gave me chance to see my tok for the the last time. I got to mandikan her jenazah. I still remember i was trying so hard not to cry in front my tol because i wanted to send her off with smile. In my heart, i was telling her “tok, ckin datang ni” I remember telling Faris about my childhood memories with tok that night. He was so supportive. He was just there to listen to my stories. It took me few days to be able to read Yassin properly. I will never forget this for my life. The burial went smoothly despite we were still in MCO at that time. I felt slightly upset that because it was MCO during that time.
I had a break for few months. I'm so grateful that I got to celebrate Ramadhan for the whole month with my family. I hadn't have that chance for so long. Ramadhan this year would be one of the memorable moments despite the pandemic. Second half of the year, I had already started on my classes, online. Few months after that, I had my very first examination, online as well. I'm telling you, it was chaotic. My Wi-Fi got disconnected in the middle of the examination, okay. How could I not be panic? Alhamdulillah, result came out a week later and I passed my 3rd year of medical school.
A month of break. October, I started again with the new semester, again online. This time around it was very difficult. It was stressful from the start. I had a really hard time being on my own that time. Everything was too much. At one point I just wanted to sleep and forget that I had 1746464 more assignment and slide presentation. Sleep and forget that I had 64775 more quizzes and lectures. Sometimes, my classes would continue till night. Online classes are really something else. remember crying my heart out to Faris almost every night and he would just let me cry until I calmed down. I was really crying every night because it was just too much. I had to prepare for presentation almost every week. I had to finish my assignment, quizzes before the weekend. All were just overwhelmed. Few times, my laptop would just shut down bt itself when i was still working on my assignment. Everything was not going the way i wanted. I messed up my presentation. When the lecturers asked questions, i couldn't answered. I just felt so dumb. I felt so hopeless and empty. One day, I reached out to my friend. Right after that i felt better.
Faris and me, we are 3 years now. Definitely this year we spent lot of the time on the phone. But that wasn't bad at all. I feel like we grew so much this year. Both of us. We are so much comfortable and more understanding of each other. We tried to squeeze into each other daily life so that we wouldn't feel the distance. We communicate better snd more effectively now. We rarely argue now and we are more open-minded now to have any conversation. We are much more matured now. And i am forever grateful for having him because he is really supportive. He would just let me cry my heart out whenever i feel overwhelmed with my workload. He listen to my bad day all the times. He tries to listen to me, be more understanding. He would just be there for me. Almost all the times.
Home-made oden
I bought books for my birthday
All in all, I think 2020 is a year of self-growth. I experienced so much things that I didn't expect at all.
